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Articles By Mike Rooth

Computers

Yes,those punched card things.AND punched paper tape.And mag tape came on metal reels 3600 ft a reel 1" wide (weighed a ton). Trouble is with the current crap,its no FUN.

Incidentally,the punched card things were in use before the turn of the century.Lace making machines were run by a continuous version of the punched card,as were fairground organs(yes,we're back to THAT again) as were player pianos.There's nothing new under the sun. We've got all the modern stuff,Bill,fret ye not,but frankly,this is the only good development I've seen in computing for,what?thirty years.All the things they told us all that time ago(release people to di more interesting things,blah,blah,blah)has been proven so much bullshit.What's interesting about automating people onto the dole? Except you end up with the best qualified dole queue in the known world.

The common blurb over here is "I must buy little Jimmy a computer". Why? "Because the computer is THE most important thing invented, and he'll come into contact with them all his life".

Answer:What is the most common piece of machinery in your house? An electric motor.Drills,machine tools,domestic equipment etc etc. And what the *fuck* does little Jimmy know about electro motive theory? Even more,what are you going to *reach* him about it?
Nothing,that's what,because he doesnt need to know that to use the bloody things.So he certainly doesnt need to know how to compute. What he *does* need to know is how to communicate,in my view,and thankfully,computing has thrown up this by accident.Well,something good had to come out of it sooner or later.Didnt it?

Still,as you remark,dear boy,I'm *incredibly* ancient,and probably not awfully au fait with modern thought(if thought it is).
The three vertebrae were brought about by virtue of the fact that until recently mainframe computing machinery was made to *look* nice.You know, low and sleek.Unfortunately,one was not allowed to sit down to use it, although it was operated at a sitting height.This involved hours of standing *just* bent.Awkward to explain,but not good for the lower back.That,and the universities insisting that it had a cast of thousands when it came to unloading trucks,when in reality it was working with a man and a dog on the forepeak(bear in mind we used until recently ni this dept alone fifteen tons of paper a year,and that was only one size,all of which had to be manhandled,the totl was probably in excess of twenty five tons)and you see the scope of the problem.

Suffice it to say that wheb one of these vertebrae slips slightly out of position,the result is that you can hear this funny high pitched groaning noise,and it takes a while to realise its you,screaming(quietly,of course, musnt alarm the neighbours),well,nuff sed.The osteopath helps(delightful young lady)NOT I might add on the National Health,as at one time did riding,but I suspect the nature of the problem has altered slightly,and it doesnt do as much good as it did.

Alcohol,of course,is a sovereign remedy,one of the good things about the so-called European Union is that the price of wine has tumbled to a very affordable level,for a very tolerable wine.Again,there had to be *some* advantage!

One peculiarity of having a back like that is that the old series Land Rovers are about the most comfortable things going!My office chair is rock-hard as well.(Yeah,all right,dropped myself *right* in it there,didnt I?)So any move on the part of The Domestic Authority to get one of those nasty modern Eurotin things can be resisted on medical grounds,however flimsy.
There is *no* situation that cannot yield *some* advantage!

   
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